Simple Minds
by phayte1978
Summary: Mila fell in love with a complete dumb ass- all the unsuccessful attempts Mila has at murdering her boyfriend.


They had been dating for two years, living together for one. Otabek was hot, Mila could not deny that. He was fucking gorgeous and everything aesthetically she ever wanted. The only problem was, _Otabek was a dumb ass_. He was dense and stupid. It drove Mila insane. She didn't even think he was straight till he asked her out.

"Babe, I told you, I like girls," Otabek would tell her as he curled his knees up to his chest for her to finger his ass.

Mila never would put up from this from just anyone, but Otabek was such a beautiful idiot- she found it hard to say to no to him. He had never spoken much, so Mila never knew the extent of his stupidity. She would get frustrated at him and go to yell- he would look at her with that vacant expression in his eyes and she knew he just did not understand.

 _Mila fell in love with a complete dumb ass._

"I'm serious Yuri! He is fucking stupid!" Mila complained over drinks.

"Oh he isn't _that_ bad," Yuri chuckled out.

"I don't get how you are friends with him the way you are."

"He doesn't talk much and let's me bitch for hours on end. What else could I ever want in a friend?" Yuri asked.

Mila groaned and ordered another drink. Yuri and her drank a lot that night. She listen to Yuri cry and whine over Katsuki with his Eros and she bitched over Otabek with his lack of intelligence. They tried to go out once a week, and found that they would get shit faced drunk. They started light, some mix drinks- as the night and complaining went on, the drinks turned to shots.

The two always found themselves holding each other up as they sang loudly walking home. Otabek would always be waiting up for Mila and tuck her into bed. He might be an idiot, but he came in handy when needed. Even in the morning he would have a glass of water and some pills for her headache- though normally Otabek would start cooking something smelly and it would make her stomach sick as she rushed to the bathroom and emptied her stomach.

"Dammit, Beks! I am hungover! Why are you cooking?" She bitched out.

As she stomped into the kitchen, the smell of bacon and sausage filled her nose, turning her stomach more.

"I was hungry," Otabek said.

Mila groaned and went back to hide in bed. Sometimes Otabek's ignorance was beyond annoying. He was noisy all morning as he banged around their flat then he yelled out he was headed to the rink in a bit.

Mila groaned and texted Yuri to bring her over some of his hangover cure. He had a Bloody Mary drink that always hit the spot. Otabek left as Yuri got there- mixing her drink, Yuri brought them both over to the table as they sat.

"I can't stay with this idiot!" Mila groaned out.

"Then dump him," Yuri said as he sipped his drink.

"Then he is going to just run off to the next girl who will take care of him," Mila growled, "I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him."

"You can't have it both ways," Yuri said.

Mila got an idea and smirled over her drink, "Then I'll just kill him."

Yuri choked on his drink, "Fuck! You are serious!"

"Da, I mean… he is so stupid, I doubt he would even notice," Mila said.

"You mean notice being dead?"

"No! Notice that I was the one who did it."

They spent the afternoon looking up different poisons. Mila thought slipping it in his wine would be easiest. Mila dragged Yuri with her as she got different rat poisons and a bottle of wine. She had poured all the poison in the bottle of wine that was almost empty and let it sit.

"So what I'll do is pour him the rest of this wine… and I'll open my bottle and drink," Mila said with a smile.

"You realize you are trying to kill my best friend," Yuri pointed out.

"No! I am your best friend!"

That night as Otabek got him and gave her a sweaty hug, Mila shrugged him off- saying he smelt bad and needed to shower. A sloppy kiss on the cheek and Otabek went to shower. As he came out, Mila offered him some wine.

"I'd rather have beer," Otabek said.

"We are out," Mila spit out.

As Mila went to hand Otabek the wine, the glass slipped and fell- on their new carpet.

"Dammit!" Mila yelled out as she saw the wine soak into the carpet.

"I'll clean it up. You have more wine don't you?" Otabek asked.

"Of course I do," Mila said through clenched teeth.

* * *

"The wine spilled!" Mila bitched at Yuri.

"I can see. Hell of a stain you got," Yuri chuckled out.

"Dammit! What else can I try?" Mila whined out.

Yuri shrugged, "You could try a pillow over his head."

"That might work!"

That night as they slept, Mila waited for the loud, over bearing snores of Otabek. Grabbing her pillow, she put it over his face. It took a few minutes before he reached out and knocked her off him easily. Falling off the bed, Mila landed on her bottom and yelled out.

"Babe?" a sleepy Otabek called out.

"Down here," Mila said.

Looking over the bed, Otabek stared at her, "Why are you on the floor?"

"I fell out of bed!"

"Well, why did you fall out of bed?"

"Ugh!" Mila growled out as she climbed back in bed.

Otabek pulled her to his side and rubbed her back till she fell asleep.

* * *

"He is too fucking strong! The asshole knocked me off of him without even knowing!" Mila whine out.

"Then I guess you need to break up with him…" Yuri said.

"That is not an option!" Mila spit out.

"You could try stabbing him," Yuri said as he waved his hand nonchalantly towards the knives.

"Won't that be… messy?"

Yuri shrugged, "Probably, maybe try in the shower."

"That… that could work!" Mila said.

Yuri shook his head. He could not believe he was still giving her ideas.

That night as Mila heard the shower going, she got a knife out the drawer and went into the bathroom. She could see Otabek behind the frosted glass, humming away as he washed his body. It was shame as his body as so nice- but if she could not have him, no one else would.

"Hey babe!" Otabek called out.

Opening the door, Otabek had just turned his back to her, washing under his pits with soap. This was her chance. Launching forward, she went to stable Otabek.

Unfortunately, Otabek had dropped the soap and as Mila went to stab, he bent over to grab the soap. Falling against him, the knife fell and clattered outside the shower.

"Dammit!" Mila yelled.

Otabek turned around, looking at Mila.

"Babe, you really should take your clothes off if you want to join me in the shower," Otabek said as he pulled at her blouse.

Rolling her eyes, Mila allowed Otabek to strip her down. She could not explain why she had come to the shower, and Otabek might be stupid, but there was no way out of this. She was thankful the knife had fallen _out_ of the shower.

She had to admit, Otabek was damn good looking. Even as he stood under the water, throwing her wet clothes on the floor ( _that she would have to clean up later_ ), he was already hard and pushing her against the tile.

"It's been awhile since I've taken you in the shower," Otabek said before kissing her.

Mila always gave in to this part. As much as she wanted Otabek out her life, she did enjoy fucking him. Sometimes she had to wonder if all his intelligence was replaced so he could be blessed with a large cock.

No matter, Mila turned and bent at her waist. Her ass up for Otabek to squeeze as his wet hands trailed her back and down to her folds.

"You're already wet," Otabek moaned out.

"We are in a shower you idiot," Mila hissed out.

"Oh right," Otabek said as he moved in fingers in and out of her. Arching her back, Mila felt as Otabek pushed into her, his hand moving to grab at her breast as if he was holding on. The steam from the shower fogged everything in the shower, her hand sliding down the glass door as Otabek pushed in and out of her. Moaning out, she knew she needed more. He moved his hand down her body, and pressed a finger on her clit, rubbing it back and forth _just the way she liked it_.

 _Ok maybe he can live another day_ , she thought as she felt her knees go weak and her body explode around her- thankful Otabek kept a firm grasp on her to keep her from falling.

* * *

"Ok so you are telling me you fucked him instead of stabbing him?" Yuri asked.

"Da, now shut up!" Mila hissed.

Yuri laughed, "No no no! You have to explain how you went from stabbing to fucking him!"

"He dropped the soap," Mila grumbled.

Yuri got to laughing so hard, he grabbed his center as he fell over sideways. Mila was about ready to _kill him_.

"Just break up with him and stop trying to kill my best friend!" Yuri laughed out.

The thought had crossed Mila's mind, but she saw how everyone looked at Otabek, they all wanted him, she could not have that.

"No, I need to try something else," she grumbled.

"Could always cut the brakes to his bike," Yuri said.

"Perfect!" Mila yelled out.

Pulling out her tablet, she looked up how to cut the brake wires. Otabek was napping and she dragged Yuri out with her so they could find the brake lines and cut them.

"You do realize it is winter and he won't ride again till Spring," Yuri pointed out.

"DAMMIT!" Mila yelled and stomped back inside.

* * *

The winter was cold and long. Mila stayed with Otabek all throughout. He was warm and she did like curling up next to him at night as they slept.

She had stopped trying to kill him. Forgetting about her frustrations she had. They could work through it, they could make this work. Sure, Otabek was simple minded, but he tried his best. She had to give him credit for that.

They had even talked getting married and then kids after they retired- both top of their division and did not want anything to stunt that.

Mila did like the idea of having someone to grow old with her. She had Yuri to bitch too when Otabek was being really dumb, and Yuri would laugh at her. _She could make this work_.

It was on the first day of Spring when Otabek had popped the question. Mila knew it was coming, but still played off she was surprised. She said "yes" and hugged him tightly.

"Come on babe, let's take the bike out for a ride and celebrate!" Otabek exclaimed.

Mila looking at the ring on her finger and nodded- "Yes, let's go celebrate!"


End file.
